Come on in, and let me tell you a story…

Once upon a time there was an obliging but stressed-out queen, who was feeling very exhausted from all her many years of “queen tasks”. She constantly had village people at her doorstep. “Oh, wise Queen, my bucket is leaking…. Oh, wise queen, my neighbor stole my cow...Oh, wise queen, solve all my problems….” While she loved listening and helping the villagers, she found that they were continually crossing the boundaries of her moat and climbing the walls of the castle and she was always on guard. One day she decided that this was not healthy, or the life she had hoped for and decided it was time for a change. She let the kingdom know she was resigning (yes, a queen can resign), leaving her castle for a new life and a new adventure.  The villagers were not happy, but regardless, she packed up her King (he was very supportive) and her household and headed off…

…So, is that the end of the story? What happened to our obliging Queen? Well, to be honest, she is still writing her story. She has had some beautiful opportunity to explore what she loves (the arts, photography to be specific). She is hoping to finish up her training and start her own business…but not as a Queen. She has settled as a villager in a tiny town where she doesn’t have to be the queen of anything at this point, and for this, mostly, she is grateful.

Times haven’t all been unicorns and sunshine. As the saying goes, “the grass isn’t always greener”. She has moments when she feels lonely…she misses her village and the boundary crossing villagers. She misses being a leader. She misses being seen and known. If you asked her if it’s all been worth it, what do you think the Queen would say? I can tell you what she would say…because this story if you haven’t guessed is mine. No, I am not a queen…I was a Vice-Principal and teacher. Yes, I was worn out. The sad part is I didn’t even realize it until I resigned and had some time off. I was so used to going through the motions, helping others, and taking care of my community and family, that I forgot to take care of myself.

So, were the changes all necessary and the adventure a success? Yes and no. Yes, the changes were necessary. I was exhausted. I needed a break. The life was being sucked out of me slowly and to continue with the queen analogy, I was losing my “sparkle”. I can’t say yet if the adventure has been a success or failure, and maybe never will, but I would say that the journey has had its ups and downs. I will clarify here, my belief that just because something is hard, doesn’t make it a failure. Just because I don’t succeed immediately at something doesn’t mean it should be given up on. All good things take time and effort. I look back on my life before our move and I mourn it because all the time and effort put in had created a life with people, places, and common circumstances. I haven’t yet been able to put the same time and effort into my new circumstances here in Ottawa and therefore cannot call it a success or a failure.

To be honest, I will never likely call it either, because it is my journey…it is my road to becoming who I am meant to be and it may be bumpy, hilly, or curvy, or it may be straight and smooth (not likely), but it is the journey I have been given. At this point it can’t be defined as either success or failure, it is just my journey. There are however, some things I wouldn’t trade as I navigate this curve/hill/bump/turn in the road: time with God, time with family, time to meditate and pray, time to love others well, time to slow down and simplify life, time to explore creativity, time to evaluate, time with new friends, time for new learning, time in nature, time to be present, opportunity to be an example to my children and others - to be brave, step out and try something new…regardless of your age, and time to continue writing my story.

One other thing I am grateful for in this season is the opportunity to pursue photography. As you can now probably tell, I love to create stories. Photography for me is another way of creating a story, but with light. The opportunity to go to school for photography, wasn’t available to me in my previous “village”. Pursuing this creative outlet allows me to help write so many more stories, my own for one, but also the stories of so many other people. Although my life is not like a fairy-tale in many ways (I’m okay with that), as a photographer, chasing light is likely as close as it comes. The thing with storytelling is that usually, it’s not just one person who writes a story, so many people, places, and ideas influence a story directly or indirectly. Usually, storytelling is collaboration, intended or otherwise and that is what makes the story beautiful. Maybe someday I can help to write your story through my photography!

 Until then, I hope your unique journey, whether bumpy, curvy, or hilly, is full of time - time for presence, time for peace, time for laughter and time for love.

 Thanks for reading,